Boundaries

I just finished a book called Boundaries. It's written by Henry Cloud and John Townsend. If you're a human being, you should read this book. So, ask yourself...Am I human? And if you answered yes, read it. I'm not kidding. Do it. Right now. =)
I would consider myself a people person. I have been for my entire life, even as a little kid. I remember being so shy and self-conscious about every little thing and I think it was just the way I was raised. Now, don't get me wrong. I would say that my parents did an excellent job raising me, but I feel that I never had a say on what I wanted with life. It was always to please others. Always. You know how little kids learn how to say no. Yeah, I can't recall one time ever saying no. It was always yes. YES YES YES. It was yes whether refering to doing social things, spending time on others, food, boys, anything. I didn't have a mind of my own. I have just finished my first two years of college and still, I can't recall a time where I said no to anything. And a big reason I don't want to say no is that I don't want to offend anybody. I don't want to feel unloved. I don't want to be turned down or hurt anyone. But, in reality, I was hurting myself and I still am. So, I decided to pick up the book Boundaries and I couldn't stop highlighting. The book was written for me. I really believe that. As a human being, I have the fear of not being liked or even loved. I will go to any extreme to make people like me, even if it is endangering my own life. No joke. I pleased others to the point where I lost my own sense of identity of who Lauren Thill is as a person, and even today, I can't define who I am. I've lost myself in others and what others want. Boundaries keep us from getting hurt, but also, allow us to become closer to the people who really do cherish and love us as individuals. The people who want to be our true friends will love us for the boundaries we set. Boundaries are really about relationships. And why do we have relationships in the first place? It's because humans crave love, not only from Christ, but from the people around them. We must always say yes out of a heart of love. When our motive is saying yes out of fear, we love not. And I never looked at it like that before. I thought that always saying yes was the right way. But, saying yes out of fear of someone not liking me shows that my heart was in a compliant state, which can be turned into an actual lying attitude. That is not what Christ wanted in our relationship with others. God set boundaries for his people, not to torment us or make us unhappy, but to protect and provide and conserve our true relationship with Him. It was all done out of love. I have had relationships with people that have not been healthy for me. And setting boundaries might make me lose their love or their friendship, but if they can't respect the boundaries that I set, then they are not true friends in the first place. Perfect love casts out fear. And my heart will not be a heart of fear any longer. It will be a heart full of love; a kind of love that the Lord requires from His people.

A dream is a wish your heart makes.

We all dream as little kids. When I was little, I dreamed that I wanted to be the man in the orange jumpsuit on the side of the road picking up trash. I thought it was really cool the way they grabbed the trash with that little suction cup thingy. I told my parents that is what I wanted to do with my life and naturally, they laughed. How dare they laugh at my dream? =) hehehe....Well, as I got older, more dreams started to develop. I wanted to be an actress. I wanted to get married. I wanted lots of children. I wanted to travel. I wanted to fly. There were so many dreams I had as a child and I still hold some to this day, not the garbage man, of course. The point that I'm trying to make is that I've met a lot of people who settle. They give up on their dreams at some point in their lives. I think it happens when they reach adulthood. I'm 20 years old and I refuse to give up on my dreams. I finished reading a book today called God has a Dream for your life. I have to say that it was one of the most incredible books I have ever read. It put my dreams back on fire again and has encouraged me to live them out. Having Christ at the center of my life has put my dreams back into perspective. I've heard a lot of people answer the question, "What do you want?" with this answer.."Whatever God wants." I was one of those people. It was whatever the Lord wants, but then I started thinking. What if God was REALLY asking you the question, "Lauren, what do you want?" Well, Lord, I want to live in New York. I want to be on Broadway. I want to marry a wonderful guy and have children. I want to travel the world. There...those are better answers to the questions. Matthew 6:33 states, " Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness; and all these things shall be added to you." God wants us to dream and he wants us to dream big. A lot of the time, especially with me, I find myself dreaming things that would not benefit me and I'm not seeking God's Will first. I take matters into my own hands. And that is why life can be very difficult and depressing to deal with. Wanting to be an actress in this day and age is stupid to a lot of people I've met. The countless blank stares and questions that precede, "I'm a theater major" make me laugh. But you know what? That is my dream. I want to be the best artist I can be and the Lord has put this passion inside of me. And it has not gone away. If I'm lucky, I have 70-80 years of life....If I'm lucky. There's no second chances to follow my heart and follow my dream. No matter how many people have said you can't do it or no matter how much you think that YOU can't do it, STOP! Dust yourself off and go after for your dream. I really believe this: God has bigger plans for my life than I have for myself. What I understand with myself is that in the face of life's disappointment's, there is no "right" thing to do. We give what we have, and that is ourselves. It is the gift of our presence. Hold onto that dream and go get it.

What's your story?

I had the opportunity last week to read a book entitled A Million Miles in a Thousand Years by Donald Miller, one of my favorite authors. It's a book about story and what "story" actually means. This book has changed me. I wouldn't say it has changed my life, but it has definetely made me think differently about it. Hmmmm....maybe it has changed my life then. =) Ever read something that feels that it was written just for you? And almost every chapter is like....BAM!!!! It hits you in your face and then the next chapter.....BAM!!! Well, that's what this book did to me. It hit me square in the face. Donald Miller writes and talks about his story, which in essence, is his life, and tells how it is boring, and how each day was nothing to remember, because well, there was nothing exciting going on in it. He was "living life" but he wasn't "loving it." And wow, how I could relate to that. Sure, I have had wonderful moments in my life, but it just never seems to be enough. Ever feel that way?? I know I do. Almost every day. God doesn't want us to have a "boring, dull story" a.k.a. life. Can you imagine having Christ as the center of your life and from there, being able to experience things in life that are beautiful? Ahhh, that makes my heart tingle. But unfortunately, a little emotion takes over in a lot of lives called fear.....Donald Miller states, "Fear is a manipulative emotion that can trick us into living a boring life." And I am preaching to the choir. We humans are always saying..I just can't...I just can't'.....I just can't......but, HE IS ABLE. Did you hear that? HE IS ABLE...We limit ourselves to live a mediocre life because fear is prevelant in our everyday lives. But, the beauty of it is, we can change it!!! I want to encourage who ever reads this to make your story beautiful. Take that step, that leap of faith, and make your story one that you want to live. God wants us to live beautiful stories and we've taken advantage of that fact, myself included. Go look at a sunset tonight. Go for a bike ride tomorrow. Meet up with a friend for coffee. Write a letter to someone you love. Donate one day to a homeless shelter. Dance around in your room in your underwear. =) And lastly, go make a beautiful story.